Half marathon tips

OK, this is (mataphorically) jumping on the bandwagon.

Twitter followers, you will no doubt have seen the wonderful advice of @parryphernalia and @Bristol_Culture.

Well, I can’t stand by and let Bristol Running Resource go tip-free while these other organs pile in with their do-gooding. But I’m not as funny as @parryphernalia nor as half-marathon experienced as @Bristol_Culture, so in simple prose here it is:

1. Eat lots of slow carbohydrates tomorrow. You know, pasta stuff.
2. Eat easily digestible stuff from now on.
3. Go for lots of poos.
4. Don’t move much from now on - just save your energy.
5. Have a light breakfast - no sugar on the morning.
6. Drink lots early in the morning, but stop in the last 90 mins and just do lots of pees.
7. Drink black coffee on the morning (then have another poo) - maybe take some with you (Coffee!) on the journey into the centre.
8. Put lots of vaseline on your toes. Maybe other places too. I can’t comment on nipples as I am lucky enough to be skinny - my nipples don’t move much.
9. Don’t drink all that crap they hand out on the course unless you are (literally) dying. It will just make you all bloated and sick - at best slow you down. OK, maybe half of one of it really is a huge ordeal for you, but not before half-way, and for god’s sake just sip it.
10. Water (sipped) is OK, especially when poured over your head.
11. Don’t wear a silly costume - you are doing enough already.
12. Go easy very for the first few km - it will take that long to warm up.
13. It’s all about poo, pee, and nipples - enjoy it.
14. Smile for me when you cross the finish line - I’ll be there in a red cap taking pictures.

Finally, in future, do some shorter races for crying out loud. There are loads to choose from and they are all listed on this site!

Comments

[Steve]

I thought I was too skinny for jogger's nipple but apparently not. It hurts! Am I starting to sag?!